Like a zany sociologist entering a tribe in the darkest corners of the rainforest, for a few months I have immersed myself in this community of watersports enthusiasts. I have discovered that they speak in a unique tongue: not English; definitely not Greek. Now, for the first time, I am going to make a written record of this strange language so we can learn from it and begin to understand the people that call this windy corner of the world home.
Section 1: Describing the Wind
My fellow sociologists tell me that eskimos have 50 words for snow, and I have discovered a similar pattern with the people here. But, rather than snow, it is wind they describe.
This sliding scale for the strength of the wind plays a pivotal role in group communication. It is used whenever some of the group have, as they call it, a ‘day off’, so the people who are not working know what the wind conditions are on the beach. Without it, members who are on this ‘day off’ could either waste a trip to the beach when there is no wind, or miss out on good wind.
- Begindy Windy – it’s starting to go cross-shore (the good kind of wind)
Foily O Hoily – there’s enough wind to hydrofoil - Teasy Ma Breezie – there is aaaalmost enough to plane (planing is when you go super fast sliding over the water rather than floating around being slow)
- Planey Ha Haney – there is enough wind to plane with a big sail
- Sendy Ba Bendy – there is enough to plane on small kit – maybe a sail smaller than 5 metres and a little wave board.
- Hoonie Ba Boonie – it’s so windy that even with the smallest sails and boards you’re stacked (overpowered)
But there are a whole host of other wind related words and phrases that the people that populate these parts use daily:
- Kylie Minogue – wind is spinning around
- Eric – name for Vasiliki’s famous cross shore wind
- Eric’s Beard – the cloud that clings to the hill when it’s a windy afternoon
- P.I.B – acronym: Planer In Bay, meaning at least one person is planing
- Windy cloud – a little wispy cloud above the valley that suggests wind will come
Section 2: Typecasting the guests
Of the many people that pass through Vasiliki, most are here for only one or two weeks. These short term residents are referred to as ‘guests’, and although most are unique, the seasonnaires have identified a few types who keep cropping up. They have named these types, and these names are useful for quick identification and ridicule of new people in the area.
- Shmem – someone who likes to talk about a sport or activity more than they like to do it. A shmem is obsessed with the equipment, the scene, and the theory behind things, and drags things that would otherwise be cool down.
- Gary – a stubborn middle aged windsurfer with strong opinions about how the kit should be rigged. A Gary repeatedly claims that they were ‘brilliant at windsurfing … 20 years ago’. They’ve been coming on this exact holiday, at this exact time of year, for the past 13 years, and they enjoy commenting on how things have changed over the years to slowly get worse.
- Local renter – a random person who comes along when it’s very windy wanting to rent good kit, and manages to convince the beach team they can windsurf. On the water, it becomes clear that they are shit at windsurfing. They are likely to either need a rescue or to break something in the hour or two that they’ve rented for.
As a zany sociologist, I am fascinated by this cruel typecasting – my research suggests this is an early form of classism or racism in the group.
Section 3: Food
The diet of the seaonnaire is simple, and so the vocabulary surrounding food is minimal. The essential phrases are listed below:
- Dub Gee – two gyros
- Freshie – a fresh loaf of bread, often shared between two with hummus for lunch
- Waf – water
- Flemon – fanta lemonaide
- Stelli lunch – lunch at the hotel we work at, which is owned by a man named Stelli.
Section 4: Watersports
Watersports come with their own set of jargon, but there are some words that I believe to be specific to this region:
- Wingy Dingle – wing foil
- Wing Nut – someone who loves wing foiling
- Windy Smurf – windsurf
- Table with Sword – a literal German translation of board with daggerboard that the group seem to find amusing and have added to their idiolects.
Section 5: On the Job
There are a number of terms that the group use to communicate while working on the beach. These terms enable the group to communicate with enhanced efficiency, enabling them to spend more time windsurfing.
Rotation – a 40 minute break from work to go windsurfing
Stitchtation – when you are given a rotation when the wind is bad
Stretchtation – when you use your rotation to join a yoga class
Naptation – when you use your rotation to have a nap
Pootation – when you use your rotation to have a leisurely poo
Safety – sitting in the power boat and waiting to rescue people
Chafety – nickname for safety derived from the thigh chafe from straddling the power boat seat
Code Yellow – having a sneaky wee while on safety boat duty
Echo Foxtrot – acronym: Early Finish. An early finish is when all the guests come off the water around 6pm, but the group cannot openly say that they wish this would happen, hence the acronym.
Section 6: Conclusions
The language spoken in this group is strange, but by gaining some level of understanding of it I hope to gain greater insight into the thoughts, feelings and motivations of the people here. For the time being, I will persevere with my research, and continue to immerse myself fully in this way of life.
I am intrigued as ever to hear how things are going back in Blighty – it has been a long time since I saw our pleasant pastures green, sat in a nice pub, or tasted a decent vegan burger. I hear we have a new King, who I will likely meet when I am knighted for my service to the enlightenment mission.
Wishing you the best until I return.
Yours,
James
